


Tension

by magnusbicon



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Coda, Established Relationship, Hopeful Ending, Introspection, M/M, for now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 11:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16533746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnusbicon/pseuds/magnusbicon
Summary: This was the fight, the effort they had mentioned time and time again. It was the pent up anger and the blame and the undying guilt that ate at both of them. It was all the words they were leaving unsaid and the frustration that came with constantly,constantlyholding back.





	Tension

**Author's Note:**

> On this day of November 5th, 20gayteen, I died.

_Tension_.

Magnus thrived off of it. 

He lived for the way it pulled people closer, hooking itself in their veins and lighting their every touch on fire. He had memories of countless nights spent resisting, building up to the moment where everything exploded. That longing used to be thrilling for him, another page written in a long book of desire. Every smile, every glance, every drop of silence shared between him and someone he was interested in, it fueled him. 

It was never a game; it was just a simple pleasure. 

Now, it felt different. 

It was in the painful press of Alec’s lips as he pushed himself up in bed, the rasp in his voice, the confusion and skepticism in his every word. 

It was in Magnus’ own hesitation, the way he stood with his hands curled in front of him beside the bed and the fast pace of his words as he explained himself. 

Then there was silence that grew so thick between them it was a wonder neither of them choked. 

It was evident in the blank canvases of his nails, in the missing patch of hair on Alec’s chest, in the blazing pain in both of their eyes that neither of them could seem to hide no matter how desperately they attempted to. 

They could snap at each other, yell and break each other apart until there was nothing left to repair, but instead that tension held taut, a wire that they both carefully navigated.

“That’s actually really sweet,” Alec said, his eyes downcast and his cheeks pink.

Magnus hummed, holding his gaze as he replied, “I thought so.” 

It was somewhat short, a bit impatient, but he knew exactly why it felt different from before. 

This tension  _mattered_. 

This was the fight, the effort they had mentioned time and time again. It was the pent up anger and the blame and the undying guilt that ate at both of them. It was all the words they were leaving unsaid and the frustration that came with constantly,  _constantly_  holding back. 

But Magnus needed it. He loved it. He  _craved_  it. 

Because this tension that him and Alec shared, it was  _real_ , and it meant that he was alive, breathing and hurting and learning to live in spite of it all. 

It was torture and it was hope all stacked up into one huge pile. 

And when that wire finally snapped, they would build a bridge and meet back in the middle. 


End file.
